Thursday, May 01, 2008

F.



Yesterday, I earned an F in love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. Yup, all of the fruit of the Spirit. I was mean to people I love, I was impatient and harried, I was inefficient and harsh. nice, huh? Oh, I am so proud of myself. not. I let the circumstances of the day just bind me, and I ended the day in tears, disappointed in me and in my behavior, and in my stupid stupid heart.

Now, I could go on and on about my cramps (sorry, gentlemen), the ants in my kitchen, my ridiculous schedule, and all the inconveniences I've had to endure these last few days. I could tell you how I can justify my behavior in a number of ways, and I just know ya'll are so sweet, you'd let me. You'd say how I need to not be so tough on myself, how I need to lighten up, how we all have bad days. I'd walk away feeling better, and loved, and I'd sinfully let myself keep in the corner of my heart the little secret that I think I'm justified in my behavior.

A wise woman once told me "just because you're right, doesn't mean you get to behave badly." Totally changed my life- no longer can I let the fact that I can come up with reasons for my sinful actions quench the actual conviction of the Holy Spirit. Oh, I still mess up... BIG, all.the.time...but it's impossible these days to get to the "I WAS WRONGED! I TOTALLY DESERVED TO BEHAVE LIKE THAT!" place in my heart where I can sin and still feel good about it. When I think of the horrid things that Jesus endured while He was on earth, how He totally was beyond wronged, and how He still did not behave badly, well... I know I've got no real case for being rotten, ever.

So, my friends, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take the grade I deserve. I'll use it for what it's intended for- to change my behavior in the future. I am so blessed to know I don't have to be a nasty rag just because my hormones and my circumstances say so. I'll find joy in this experience as I let God use it to grow me, and as He gives me another F... the one I don't deserve... Forgiveness.

So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death. The law of Moses was unable to save us because of the weakness of our sinful nature. So God did what the law could not do. He sent his own Son in a body like the bodies we sinners have. And in that body God declared an end to sin’s control over us by giving his Son as a sacrifice for our sins.
Romans 8:1-3 (NLT)



22 comments:

Deidre said...

Oddly enough, I could totally copy this post and sign my name to it - even down to the ants in the kitchen!

mer said...

Great lesson on grace! Aren't you glad we don't get what we deserve?

Praying that today is a much better day for you! I'm thankful for His mercies that are new every single morning!

Sing4joy said...

F. days are gross. And also a testament to the greatness of God that even in the yuckiest of moments, He can love you enough to show you your mistake and guide you in improving and give you countless opportunities to do so.(I also could copy and paste). Thanks for being real. It helps other real people know there is hope in Christ.

Halfmoon Girl said...

I belong on detention with you. BTW, I have ants in my kitchen too.

This is a fabulous post. A sense of entitlement contributes to so much bad behaviour in people!

DidiLyn said...

Good for you.I like that you don't want to justify your actions.
"F" days remind us that we are saved by "A"(abundant grace)Be thankful for them.
I wish my ladies in prison could read your everyday lessons. Good stuff.

Alana said...

There must have been something in the water yesterday, because I had a similar day. But then I read this...

"Silence is praise to you. Zion-dwelling God. And also obedience. You hear the prayer in it all. We all arrive at your doorstep sooner or later, loaded with guilt, Our sins too much for us-but you get rid of them once and for all."

Psalm 65:1-3
The Message

AMEN.

Peace my friend.

Gotta GROW with it said...

well, i give you an A+ for honesty! way to be R-E-A-L and remind me to do an attitude check today (grumble,mumble)!

Fran said...

I just wrote on needing an attitude adjustment myself....and my youngest child reminded me of it....and he's 7.

We can be so ridiculous sometimes can't we?!

Gayle said...

Oh girl. I so very badly needed to hear this today. Right this minute.
I have had a BAD day, and I can justify the stew out of it, but it never helps me to feel better.
Thanks so much for posting this. I am ready for a new day.

Becoming Me said...

I love how you turned the F around to a positive. I agree with Mer, this was such a great lesson on grace. Thank you for ministering. And aren't you glad that God doesn't grade us?

Mama P said...

Regarding your quote, "I don't have to be a nasty rag"

I believe you have a new tee shirt: "I don't have to be a nasty rag just because I'm on one"

Anjanette said...

I stumbled across your blog recently and love it! Thanks for being so REAL and for being such a breath of fresh air - not to mention setting me back on track today after having one of those days yesterday.

Beck said...

Some days ARE awful. And some days, I go to bed feeling SICK with myself - all you can do is get up the next morning and do better, right?

Gretchen said...

Oh, Sweetie...I guess the good news is, it can only go up. :) How can you be lower than an F? Totally get where you're coming from, and I'm sure God's mercies will be new for you today, just as for the rest of us F-ers. ;)

xxxooogretchen

Jenn said...

Again thanks for your honesty. I was actually thinking about writing a blog post on my behavior next week. Along with Halfmoon Girl I will join you in detention.

Praying that we all let the Holy Spirit use our F days to teach us live out Eph. 4:29!

Earen said...

Thanks for putting your heart out there for us to read. It was a good reminder that just because of "issues" in our lives, God still calls us to display His fruits. Thank you for this!

ann said...

I really like how you turned the F around to forgiveness, too! Today is a new day, YAY!

Becky said...

When we deserves F's...He gives us His forgiveness...BEAUTIFUL!

Gotta GROW with it said...

oh what a sweet sweet comment! thank you for the note and the giggle! i'm so glad we met.

Liza's Eyeview said...

Thanks for being transparent and for the lesson you shared. I'll have to remembe: Just because I am right doesn't mean I can behave badly".

And yes, F for forgiveness is the best!

truth said...

Oye! I hate those times, but they are so necessary for correction.
"just because you're right, doesn't mean you get to behave badly." I love this statement.

Jenster said...

*sigh* Me too.