Monday, July 21, 2008

Beautiful Love

Get here by a Google Search- "Praying for a husband" ? Scroll Down!

Saturday was my friend Donnie's wedding... he married a girl, Holly, who seriously looked like she won the SuperLotto by landing this PRIZE of a husband. She giggled and smiled and glowed through the entire ceremony. I was so happy for them, for they honestly are a wonderful pairing- and the excitement and love and smiling was beyond what I could have even dreamed of asking for him. For them, it may have felt like a long time coming, but theirs is an excellent testimony of patience and prayer and the fruits of being dedicated to both.

According to my sitemeter, one of the biggest Google searches that lands people at my site (right after "Teal Mascara") is "Praying for a Husband." I always get sad for the ladies who open up my blog hoping that they are going to learn the best way to ask God for a good husband, only to find that the post they get is my gratitude for Jason and how I pray for MY husband daily. I imagine they don't stay for long, and I wonder where they go after that... searching for that 'perfect fit'- the Donnie and Holly jackpot- with a husband that God chose for them before He knit them in their mother's womb.

I can't say I prayed for a husband. I hadn't even heard of such a thing when I was a child. Because I was a child bride who married at age 19- right after rededicating my life to Christ, I didn't really have time to develop my relationship with God before I took the plunge into wedded bliss. Now that I know how important it is, I pray for my daughters' future husbands, (and my son's future wife!) with them as well as in my morning devotion time. I hope they'll be able to avoid some of the pitfalls young women fall into of wanting to be married so desperately, they plan a ceremony before they ask God what He thinks about the whole situation.

I can say this though: I do pray to keep the husband I have today- I have to. It is statistically practically impossible to stay happily married from age 19 to age 36 without some God intervention, hard work, and prayer. This man that I am married today is not a good husband because I am a good wife (HA!), or because he had a great example growing up, or because he read a how-to book or blog.... He's a great husband because of the Grace of God. Jason's willing to be molded by Him... and that's all God needs to make a phenomenal spouse. We can make it as complicated as we want, but it really just boils down to that.

And for you, sweet, dear Google searcher... I'm glad you came here today. You, who landed here because you are feeling so lost and lonely and tired of being patient... you are not here by accident... read the comments to this post- all those who comment here are making a commitment to pray for you even now and just might leave a little piece of advice for you... Your prayers are being heard- God has a plan for you...

(okay, you readers... I'm counting on you to come in here... comment below with your advice for the googlers praying for a husband... and a commitment to say a little prayer for them right now... I'm off to VBS! I can't wait to see what ya'll come up with... don't let me down!)

Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Psalm 37:4

21 comments:

mandy said...

i read cindybeall.com, and last week she posted on this same subject.

her commenters were thoughtful and honest, as well.

Earen said...

First & foremost, you have to realize in your heart that no human person will ever fill that void in your heart. It can only be filled by the Lord Jesus Christ Himself. I know some people might view my marriage at age 24 as "having it good", but let me tell you...it was a rough road up until then. Men were never interested in me. I never dated..never even felt like they wanted to talk with me. I went through a season of truly surrendering this area of my life to Him & that if I was single the rest of my life that I would be happy, & live my life to the fullest of His glory. I honestly was prepared for the single life. Not too much long after that God brought me my husband & I was surprised because I thought God wanted me to be single. My heart hurts for those who want to be married & aren't. I don't understand, but God does & you have to trust His heart....He loves you so dearly & has the best plan for you. But, enjoy your life & don't let it stand on hold until you find someone...Trust Him!

PJ said...

It's a cliche...but....true....It's not so much about "Finding" the right person as "becoming" the right person....with a few exceptions (womanizers, pedaphiles and abusers...these aren't likely to change) If you're honest upfront, can be 'best friends' with the person, and have respect one for the other, it's a matter of growing up together and being committed to the relationship. If s/he is someone who just doesn't 'get' your friends and family, is someone you're embarrassed to be seen with, or who doesn't treat you with respect...be warned. Drop him/her quicker than a hot potato!!

And then there's PRAYER!!! I, too, pray often for my granddaughters' future spouses. (The girls are 6 & 8! And waaay too beautiful!) :) sez proud gramma!

Pray often. Pray fervently. Pray honestly!

Great Post!

Becoming Me said...

Very beautifully written.

I remember praying for a husband. Not so much for his qualities, but for someone to love me...a girl whom I felt was very unlovable.

Like Earen stated, I learned, after nine years of marriage that another person cannot fill the void that only God can...and because of my cluelessness and "youth" we were off to a rocky start.

But God has made all things beautiful. And I have truly learned to live my life for Him.

Halfmoon Girl said...

good topic! Many suffer silently with this one and are just told to be patient and pray more. Those are good things, but also know that it can be a grass is greener scenario as well- sometimes. in some ways, marriage can be harder than singlehood. So, while you are waiting and praying, LIVE! Enjoy yourself, serve others, and get to know the wonderful person God created you to be. It will only make you a better person in the end, whether you get married or not.

Gayle @ thewestiecrew said...

Well, I don't know what advice to give, but I will say that I did NOT pray for a husband. I, like you (HisGirl), got married at the tender age of 19 and I was 21 when I became a believer.
HOWEVER, God blessed my marriage. I have a wonderful man who came to the Lord not long after I did by God's tender mercy and grace. I am blessed.
I say all that to say, that if I, in my ignorance, didn't even pray for what I got, how much more will He give to those that ARE seeking?! Hang in there sweet sisters.
And I love what halfmoon girl said, too.

hsmomma5 said...

What a beautiful post. I am like you, I married at 19 (and now realize I was way too young to be getting married)but God worked everything out. And he has kept us together, through lots of trials. It takes commitment and putting God first. My husband is a wonderful man, but like you said, not because of me--because of God. In reality, we should probably be a "statistic" but God has blessed us with a phenomenal marriage.

God's Guitar Girl said...

I have prayed for a husband both times I have had the potential chance to be married. I have learned, albeit through tragedy, that another human being cannot define who you are. At the same time, you have to allow that other person to become an integral part of you, a part that is crucial to your world; otherwise, you really have no business marrying them. If you don't have that closeness and continue to guard it, protect it, and grow it, you will not be able to withstand the trials that life is undoubtedly going to bring.

It has taken me a little while to really buy into it, but I know that I am created for companionship, and coming to terms with that after losing a spouse is not as easy as you think. Now that I know this, it makes being single very hard. I am blessed to be in a relationship with a man I love, but my situation brings complications, and that is a whole other story in itself.

Lastly, there's a difference between praying for a HUSBAND and praying FOR a husband. Both of them are quite a journey and can break your heart along the way. Either way, hang in there. It's definitely worth it in the end. :)

Jenn said...

First - what a gorgeous picture and such a wonderful post. Praying right now for those who come to your blog through a google search of "praying for a husband".

The summer before my 7th grade we were driving home from youth camp. My youth minister's wife was talking to us about dating and marriage. In the conversation she told us how important it was to pray for the spouse God would unite us with someday. So from that moment on began to pray for him. Prayed that God would mold him into the man, husband and father that God wanted him to be. I also prayed that God would turn me into the wife that he needed and through that process I would grow into a loving mother who lived out my faith in front of my future children.

After I got engaged I began to pray for my brothers future spouses and since the birth of my three boys I now pray for their future wives.

The year before I met my husband - I thought I knew who I was suppose to be with - I knew he was the guy for me! As perfect as the this guy was for me in my mind/heart - I am glad God had other plans. The two months before I met J., I spent focusing on God and doing the Bible Study "Experiencing God". The point of this is - I took my eyes off of my wants and began to focus on what God wanted for my life. Through that time not only did I grow closer to God, but He changed my heart towards that other guy - leaving it open to meet the man He had created for me.

I loved what you said about marriage being hard and the only way to make it is to have God in the center of the marriage. We have definitely had our ups and downs in our almost 13 years of marriage. I can honestly say that we have only made it this far because of God!

Scrapper Mom said...

I loved this post. Everything you said is so true. Just this week, my husband and I have been having a lot of heart to hearts and it has been refreshing to hear from him how he realizes that God placed us both in one another's paths just at the right time. We celebrated 15 years on Thursday. Read my post "This one's for Pete" to see just how God worked in our lives!

And I will pray for the googler's out there.

Gretchen said...

Beautiful picture!

I never prayed for a husband. I wasn't close enough to God to go there. However, now I praise Him for my husband, warts and all. Unequal yokedom and all. Do I recommend being unequally yoked? Of course not, however, I do think that this man is the one God has intended for me. I agree that we mature into the spouses we need to be. I also think--even when i was in my teens and 20s--that if you write out a list of pros and cons, and the cons outweigh the pros? You have a winner. Because, I don't know about you, but I'm not the perfect woman, and if i'm imperfect, i'm sure willing to bet that my spouse will be, too. Yet, I do now seek God for sanctifying myself and my marriage. Not as often as I should, but I do.

Great post, Chica. xxxooogretchen

Becky said...

I can still remember an episode when I was a very young girl, where my mom had been crying, and then came to tuck us into bed. She was kind of sniffly as she said, "Girls, it's very, very important that you begin even now to pray for your future husband."

It wasn't until a few years later, when I was in 6th or 7th grade that through youth group leaders and speakers at church camps and retreats and such that I began to see the value of what my mom had said. And as I grew closer to the Lord, this became a priority. It was also key in convincing me to not just 'settle' for anyone that came along...not when I'd been praying fo so long for the RIGHT one...the one God had in mind for me. Nope, I knew that I needed to wait...even if (God forbid) I was 40 when that finally happened.

I was just as boy crazy as the other college freshman, but there came a very distinct turning point that year where I got tired of trying to 'find' my Mr. Right on my own, and gave it all over to the Lord (not to pick it up again)...and BAM! After a couple of weeks of intensive spiritual growth, things unfolded to the point where I met the man who became my husband.

This is not to say that he fills every void in my heart. Only the Lord can do that. And He has. He has also healed many wounds...daddy issues. Things that would have affected my own marriage had they not been dealt with. Those were some difficult growing pains in my life.

Thankfully, the Lord has continued to work in that area, and though my parents divorced and there was a lot of hurt and pain and estrangement associated with that (my dad and I didn't speak for a few years)...the Lord has restored our relationship to something that I never would have dreamed could have existed between my dad and I. Really, better than it ever had been when I was a kid at home.

We encourage our youth group kids in this frequently. To set high standards and pray that the Lord would lead them to that point in their lives where they meet the person HE intended for them.

Anonymous said...

aww this was such a sweet read! I love the last part where she said that we're not here by accident and that God has a plan for us. I really do hope that God has a plan for me. A good plan. A plan that i'll like. A plan that involves getting happily married to the man of my dreams in 4 years. I feel like i've already found him. But now reeling him in and making sure he's actually the one, etc etc. is what i'm worried about. All my life i've asked God for the perfect man for me. My soulmate, the male version of me. All my life, I've asked him. I'm 24 now, my finances suck, i have no friends (because i've never really had friends all my life), I'm always sad, always lonely. All i've ever wanted is to be happy. And happiness to me is true love. Real love. I try to be a good person, to do right, I pray excessively, and I do my best not to sin. And all i really have is this laptop (my most priced possession), and my relationship with Jesus. I hope he sends me the right man. I hope i'm correct in that i've already found him, i hope he's actually the one. Please pray for me ladies, I need prayers very desperately.
And thank you so much for this lovely blog. I was impressed at how accurate you were. I had googled "praying for a husband" only to find many many links about "praying for my husband" instead. So good to find this one! thanks! xoxo

Anonymous said...

Wow, I find it interesting of the moms that told their little girls to start praying for their husbands when they were little girls. Had I known that, maybe I would be married by now with the additional years of prayer. Afterall I've been praying now for over 25 years and I'm now 50 and have never been married. I do believe though that my change is soon to come. Actually after 25 years of being heavily in love with a certain man, being together, breaking up, getting back together in between his now 3x's being married and 3x divorced, him having kids, etc, I have finally come to realization to let go of him and let God. It has been painful, but God is helping me. I now say I must let go of my past to make room for my future. And with that I'm now trusting God more now than ever. Thanks for your prayers for me.

Anonymous said...

God bless each and everyone of you! God is able and He is the best thing that could ever happened to any of us. What God has for me is for me!! He is a rewarder of those who earnestly seek him.

Anonymous said...

Wow this is exactly the kind of website I have been looking for! Thank you so much!!!!
I have recently been "talking" with a guy and I am really starting to like him!! Everytime I talk to him, get a text from him, or see him, I just smile a big smile! :-D He treats me with respect, shares the same values as I do, and is just an awesome guy! I have been praying for God to bring "Mr. Right" into my life. I even made a list of the qualities I want in my future husband-- And about a week later "N" asked me out on a date! It was a miracle! We are waiting to date until we find out if his new job will be close enough for us to not have to have a long distance relationship. I pray that it will be!!! With both of us in college, we don't have much time to see each other or to talk right now. So I pray that he will find more time to talk to me everyday... I don't want us to drift apart! He used to text me "good morning" every morning and "good night" every night... but now he usually does not :-( Those were the little things that made me smile and I knew he was thinking about me and caring about me. "N" and I have known each other most all our lives; it's one of those situations where he was right in front of me but we never realized how perfect we would be for each other!
Well to make a long story short-- If you are reading this I hope that you will pray for him and I to be married someday! He really is the best guy I could ever ask for and I feel like this is "the one" God sent for me! :-)


-O

Kara said...

Thank you for this post. It is refreshing to be encouraged by these lovely ladies. I returned to God about a month ago after years of hurt and anger over a horrible marriage. I was 23 years old and tired of waiting for God to bring the spouse that I desperately prayed for every day for years. So, I took the reigns in my hands and married a guy who was totally wrong for me, maybe wrong for anyone. But that's another story. I am now 31 years old and a single mother of one awesome 6 year old boy. He is the light of my life (next to God of course). I thank God that He allowed something so wonderful to come out of such a devastating situation. My divorce was final in April 2007. I have to admit that I am weary of the wait. My son is getting older and has hurt and anger over not having a dad. He has even started to pray for a "new daddy." His father calls but is more interested in telling me the latest gossip than talking to his own son! He claims to be called by God to ministry yet he quit his job to go across the country and now pays no child support and the list goes on. God has given me much healing over the situation. In fact, I hope it will encourage other women who have been through similar situations. Our children have suffered but God will make it all right. I believe He has a plan for us. It has been my dream since I was a very young child to be a wife and a mother living happily and devotedly for God. So, here I am again, Lord. I am laying it all before You, here and now. Take my will because only You know what is best. Not only do I need a husband, but my son needs a father to be there for him. For some reason, I am feeling a loneliness which I haven't felt so strongly in a while. I am holding on to the hope I have in Jesus Christ that He will help us make it through. I can't imagine there is not someone out there who will love me and love my son as Christ loves the church. In Jesus' name I speak it into existence. I love God and He promised me long ago that He had a husband for me. Although I may have foiled His plan before, I know He already knew what would happen. I thank you, God, and I trust in You. In fact, I pray for the other women who will come across this post...In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray that You would give them strength, encourage them, Lord fill them with wisdom and faith, help them to keep trusting in You because You know all and see all, Amen. Ladies, I am right here in the boat with you. I choose to stand on God's word and His promises. He has never failed and He never will. He longs to fulfill the desires of each and every heart. Our job is to submit to Him and to keep ourselves open to opportunities and doors that he opens up for us. If we focus on God and what He wants us to do, our lives will be blessed for it and we will be better wives when God chooses to bless us with our husbands. Don't do what I did before...WAIT ON GOD!

SAVE AMERICA FIRST FOUNDATION said...

I love this blog and post. I was led here by typing in praying for a husband. I'm 31 years old and finally after years of going with what I think or read about men or dating. I am letting go of control over my love life as of right now May 31, 2009. Just as God gets us through many days and nights unharmed---he will lead us to the "one". I know that I have not trusted God in this area, and I am a control freak but if I want what is due to me---whether its being married or single. I may as well wait in peace and continue to pray to God to give me his wish...not my own.

Battlemaiden said...

While I was taking a walk into town today I was having a conversation with God about how I'd love to be married with just the right guy, and something that I had been pushing to the recesses of my mind suddenly came to the fore and became crystal clear, that I have been in and out of relationships with men that aren't for me because I have been trying to fill a void that only God can fill...that I must seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and everything else would be added unto me...That's a bit of a hard one to swallow when you so desperately want to be married. But you know what? It's true. Only God knows exactly what it is I need and I need to cultivate my relationship with Him if anything else in my life is to go right - including having the right husband.

So I guess I am just trying to encourage those sistas who are like me and are so disillusioned...Hold on to God, get closer to Him. He is our Father and wants nothing more than to see us prosper, He will bring that man into your life at just the right time. But in the mean time, draw closer to Him and hold on with everything you have.

Anonymous said...

hey am so inspired by what have read and really encouraged i have been praying for a husband since i was 19 i was advised by my late mother that i should pray so that i meet the man that God inteded for me am 28 yrs now am still waitin for that man that God has planned for me and i know that God makes all things beatiful at the right time and outside there is a husband for me and he is what God desires for me.In the book of Iasiah 34: 16 He has talked about our mates so continue praying ladies i will send youy wedding photos when that time comes.

Lee said...
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