I haven't even been able to talk about it. I make small talk, I'm kind of going through the motions of life while I wait for it to settle all the way in. I even wrote a blog post about a conversation I had about purity with my teen boy, but never ended up posting it. It just didn't seem to fit. Anything I try to post seems too insignificant in comparison.
Have you ever had something happen to you that was really big, and then you looked out on the world and were amazed that it was still the same? For example, I remember walking out of my house the day I found out I was pregnant for the first time. People were driving their cars, having conversations, living their lives. The sameness to me seemed so out of place. My life had just changed forever, I was having a baby! How strange to me that I still had to go to a wedding shower that night, that I still had to go to work in the morning, that I still had to function among this world in much the same way, except for the fact that there was A PERSON GROWING INSIDE ME! Nobody could see it, and I couldn't even realize the enormity, but I was changed all the same.
That's actually a great picture of how I feel right now. I came out of church changed, but I still have to get my girl's Mission Project finished, I still need to go to work, I still need to get groceries. Life is still happening but I have this overwhelming feeling that there's something big around the corner.
There are some things in the future I can predict. This week I will prepare to teach a class locally, I will pack for a trip to Texas, I will pray about a workshop to present at a conference in my old hometown. I will turn thirty seven years old. I will get a haircut. I will have a facial. I will laugh with my friends. I will spend time with my husband. I will enjoy my children. I am excited about all these things.
It amazes me that the things that you can't see... the things that are growing out of the realm of visibility are the things that are going to have the biggest impact both in this life and in eternity. I am praying about how to put that into words. And though it's not quite there yet, I wanted to just take a minute to let you know I'm still here... all is well... and get you excited about the 'whatever it is' coming around the bend.
xoxo
Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
Romans 12:2
Romans 12:2
14 comments:
Very interesting...
Your post reminded me of the first time I went out of the house, without my new born baby...Wanting to tell people who were busy with 'living normal life' that it wasn't normal! I had a baby at home that I just birthed!
Looking forward to hearing what coming next!
Not to be a big downer, but I remember when my mom died...wondering how the world could still spin on its axis. How folks could go to work...make dinner...go to softball games, etc. when something "so significant" just happened.
And I've felt the same in reverse when I found out I was pregnant, etc.
For me, it points to how small we are, and how grateful I am to have someone care for me as much as Jesus did/does, given my small, little life. Makes me, too, want to grasp my differentness and live for Him.
Great post. Can't wait to hear your epiphanies.
Ooooh. A cliffhanger I can deal with. But not for very long.
Can't wait to read more!
I want to know the words that changed you and why those particular words in this particular season in your life had such an impact.
Waiting....(slightly) impatiently.
Easter always does that for me, too...dwelling on the significance of all He's done for us and what He went through in His pursuit of us makes me love Him all the more.
Kind of like a husband telling you after 15 years of marriage, "I'd marry you all over again..."
I'm with CarpoolQueen...what was it that jumped out at you this time around?
I had a similar experience a few years ago. God changed my heart in a BIG way over a course of 3 weeks during a revival. I was excited yet quiet all at the same time. I almost felt like I held my breath for fear that it wasn't real change, but it stayed. I've since come down off the mountaintop, but the day-in-day-out commitment has remained.
Great illustrations...can't wait to hear more.
Texas huh? Where abouts?
I loved this!
I had that "How is the World Just Going About Its Business" feeling over Christmas when my dad was in the hospital. I couldn't believe no one offered to just cancel Christmas until we could celebrate it, too.
But I've also had those times when God was doing some rearranging in my heart and I felt like I was just going to come right out of my skin! I hope that's the kind of time you're talking about. I can't wait to hear more!
I'm going through something similar right now. It's hard to explain, but things are different in my heart and it makes the world around me look different too.
I feel like the world is passing me by right now while I am all buried in VLOOKUP land staring at thousands of rows of Excel, and hoping that all this data I am loading is going to the right place. I hope I can someday soon come out of my business integration cocoon and rejoin my bloggy friends here in bloggy land.
I completely related to your analogy (& also Gretchen's.) I love it when I feel God at work stirring something up inside of me. It can be frustrating when you know something is stirring but can't quite put your finger on what it is...praying that God will reveal Himself mightily within the stirring.
My "word verification" is "tatata" ;)
Yes, I can relate to this. I felt like something really clicked in my heart this Easter...still mulling it over, but it is a sweet thing.
I remember feeling some of this last November when we were waiting for my dad's diagnosis. I was reeling from shock and fear and hurt and the world just kept on going.
And I've experienced similar feelings when I've been over the moon with joy.
Interesting isn't it?
Can't wait to hear the rest of your story.
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