Personal Holiness

This week I took a sleep test from the comfort of my own bed with a monitor strapped to my bod. It was a sheer hoot~ I had a tube in my nose, traps all over my chest, a machine between my... ribcage, and red glowy lights on a tape-y thing wrapped around my pointer finger. I wanted to take a picture and post it for you, but it turns out I was unable to rock the look as well as one might think. I heisted this pic from the Canadian Lung Association which is actually the exact configuration I was sent home with:

*fighting the urge to point out how this girl and I obviously differ*

Now, if you've been reading for any length of time you already know that I did all of this as part of my determination to get to the bottom of the extreme fatigue I've been fighting the last few months. I don't want to whine, but I do feel the need to let you know that this isn't the regular, "Oh my heck I am so tired" sensation I have felt since I became Mommy. In fact, calling this fatigue 'very tired' is like calling a migraine a 'bad headache.' This is a tired that surpasses even pregnancy tired, nursing twins tired, and working-the-graveyard-shift-at-Bob's-Big-Boy-while-going-to-college-and-teaching-preschool-simultaneously tired all rolled into one.

Anyhoo, it's gotten so out of hand that it's affecting my ability to do the things God has called me to do... like mother my children or care for my husband... not to mention effectively do the work of the ministry I'm part of. I realize that taking care of this on the surface (with caffeine or whatever) is not going to be sufficient. Because it is slowing me down so badly, I am willing to do anything to get to the root of the problem~ blood tests, fancy contraptions, Xrays, you name it. I'm drinking more water, less soda, spending time outside, taking vitamins, keeping a bedtime. I'm following every sane bit of advice I hear. And you know, it doesn't even feel like a burden to do all of this because I want to eliminate whatever it is that's keeping me from being at the top of my game.

Reminds me of this week's Seeking Him Together Bible Study chapter on Personal Holiness. One of the things we've been doing all along is testing, inspecting, poking at our hearts. We're trying to get the things out of our lives that are slowing us down. I'm beginning to realize that no longer do I feel like uprooting the sin in my life is a form of torture, but instead an opportunity. I'm happy to get to the roots of this junk.. for I know from experience that the surface fixes don't last.

In a way, I feel like this study has been like a set of diagnostic tests. I am pleased to say that while I'm not any closer to finding out why I'm so physically exhausted, I'm feeling increasingly spiritually energetic! I have hope that the more I know about God, the more naturally holiness will come to me. It's a natural reaction to seeing Him for what He is- a wonderfully loving, perfect, forgiving, holy God who is pleased to see His people love Him (and each other) in a pure, forgiving holy way.

The results of my sleep test should be back within the next three weeks. I'll of course keep you posted ('cause I know you're at the edge of your seats) about both that and the spiritual results as we move on through this study. For now, I must sleep... *yawn* g'night all....

"Strive for peace with everyone, and for holiness
without which no one could see the Lord"
(Hebrews 12:14)

ps: Over {here} is a printout form of one of the exercises we worked on for day 5. It's a handy-dandy key for looking at the sins we need to put off- but it doesn't stop there. Once we strip off the vile, worn rags we've been parading about in, God doesn't leave us out shivering in the cold! Instead, he gives us something to put on. The heart condition and the corresponding scriptures are listed on the chart. I think it's a cool tool and I hope you will consider printing it out and keeping it where you can easily reference it.