Buckling up............

Today is a BIG day. This is the day 32 ladies will open their email accounts and find a link to the Safari through Daniel study that I've been writing over that last few months. 

eeek.

I can't remember the last time I felt so vulnerable. I keep reminding myself over and over and over about a piece of wisdom that I was given from my dear friend Angela.  "Amber," she told me gently... "your job is not to teach. Your job is to do your best, and the Holy Spirit's job is to do the actual ministry."

gulp.

I keep glancing at the clock, wondering at what time I should hit 'send.'  And though it's probably mostly the asthma meds I just took, my hands are shaking wildly and my heart is racing like a... well, whatever goes super, duper fast.

whew!

You wanna know a something? There's something very familiar about the nervousness I feel sending out this study. This anticipation feeling is actually less like fear and  a more like the stomach ache I get right before I board a big roller coaster...  not scared enough to chicken out... just nervous enough to shake a little and talk real fast before I get on. However, I know from experience that if I can press past the jitters, once the ride gets going.... I'll be screaming and smiling and laughing and having a fantastic time!

The thing about coasters is, the level of fun is really equal to the level of faith you have in the machine.  If you truly think you might die, that's terror, not a thrill ride. I don't like the feeling of being terrified (hence my boycott of any rides at the fair)- but I do like the feeling of defying gravity, of having to trust in this thing that makes no sense, of feeling the wind just rush by me as we rush blindly around curves. If honestly I feel like I'm at a safe park, if I see others ride and come out alive... then I'm game!

Oh, the exhilaration of shooting across the sky! Over hills and upside down! The blood pumping through your body! The joy of overcoming the fear and having fun!

I know that this metaphor is not going to get through to everyone. I know that some just are not fans of the death-defying rides, but I hope the message isn't lost in translation....

because it's so cool to know this...though I'm terrified to open myself up to criticism, failure, disappointment, and worse- I know that my level of enjoyment of this time is going to be equal to my trust in my Savior. If I trust that He can take my imperfect work and use it for His glory... then this ride, however scary it can be... is going to be THRILLING! The twists and turns that happen won't be traumas, they'll be LOOPS! and BARREL ROLLS! and FREEFALLS! I'm not really taking a risk at all, because I trust that God would never allow me to spin too far off track- He loves me enough to hold me tightly through every rise and fall.

So, I'm buckling up! I'm waiting for the green light! And then, even though it's scary, I'm going to raise my hands in praise as we take this wild ride!

WHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

But those who wait on the Lord

Shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.

Isaiah 40:31

ps: If you asked to participate, but did not yet get an email, please let me know... it means I either don't have your email, or have it in my database wrong.  I'll fix it right away!