Last night, my BeFri Brandy and I were chatting about how frustrating it can be to attempt to have productive conversations with the people we live with. We commiserated that sometimes it's like we're from a different planet than our spouses or children- making it SO HARD to effectively communicate that often sometimes it ends up with us yelling and screaming like lunatics. (Honestly, does any mother speak Teen Boy? I need the Rosetta Stone program for Teenboyeese. His monosyllabic grunts are as indecipherable to me as my long, loud, logical ENGLISH rants are to him.)
Anyway, while we were talking, I got a picture in my head of those people (you know you've seen them) who, when they discover someone who doesn't speak English, begin raising their voices in an effort to communicate. Like that will even help! If someone don't speak English, NO MATTER AT WHAT VOLUME YOU SPEAK, they will not magically become fluent. You'd better find another way to get your point across.
Bran and I agreed that picturing the ridiculousness of the people who do that is going to help us with our own self control. Sometimes, we need to understand that our husbands, God bless their little hearts, do not speak our language. Our small children do not always get what we are saying. Our teenagers? well, they rarely do. And yelling at them is not going to make them magically fluent in 'pick up your towels off the floor before the stupid cats pee on them-ese' (oh, maybe that's just a language for my house)
The secret, it appears, is not to raise our volume... but to find another way to get our point across.... maybe we need to study ways that they communicate so that we can speak words to them that they understand without looking like complete fools.
As for me, I know I'll be picturing those ladies in the nail salon who yell at their manicurists 'NO I SAID I DON'T WANT A FLOWER TODAY' the next time I am hollering at those people in my house 'WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU CARE HOW I AM FEE-LING?' Maybe it will help me chill a little and try a different tactic instead.
isn't it cool to have friends who help you become a better person? so cool. Thanks, Bran.
As iron sharpens iron,
so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17
ps: It's not too late to sign up for the Safari through Daniel study. We start 1/11/10.
9 comments:
Ah so true! I know there is a trick to lowering your voice (purposefully in a hushed tone) that can get a kid's attention. Now if I can just remember that!!
Oh, whatever. Sometimes you can be so practical and reasonable that I JUST CAN'T HEAR YOU.
But really, I do.
xxxooo
Wow. That's a good word. The analogy makes perfect sense and it's spot-on. Now if I can call this post to mind next time my volume starts creeping up on my voice!
Ditto what Gretchen said. This post may or may not have come in handy six or forty-seven times yesterday.
Girl it was all you - and what the Lord gave you. I am hoping that I can hang on to this next time I am feeling like yelling, and not. Love you. Thank God for His wisdobramm in you.
I have a teenager son and a 11 year old gir who thinks that she is one. Wow they keep me guessing and wondering all the time. Ddealing with a lot of emotions now you know the whole boys and girls thing all of her friends think that he is soooooooooo Hot and she wants to puke. His friends say the same stuff. Who would have ever taught. Thanks for showing me that I am not the only one who yells at times...
You know, it's funny. I got back from Christmas vacation. I had a heart attack at the number of blog posts in my reader. I resisted the urge to ignore all and start from scratch. I deleted all but the important ones (yours, S4J's, CPQ's, and PWOCi) after a quick skim read and a random star to save this or that for reference. Tonight, after raised voices had me totally sidetracked from what I was doing (and a rare mad cleaning session), I sat down and clicked on the first post. This one from you. The yelling earlier was obviously a "two people who speak different languages" one, so, wow. Point for God. He knew exactly when I needed this post. I'm praying this little lesson sticks. Thank you for being His vessel in my time of need. Now for some minor Swedish fish therapy.
I need that Rosetta tutorial too. My son will be 13 in ONE MONTH. I'm slightly freaking out!!!
Good word, lady!
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