Prayer vs Planning

My better late than nothing post today is part of a Safari Through Daniel study. You can check out the other posts on this topic HERE.

Oh, how I love to plan. Like a lot of you out there, (or so I've read) a list for me is like therapy! Checking things off a list makes me feel like I'm in control. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially frazzled, my husband or kids will bring me paper and a pen just to help me chill.the.heck.out. Knowing that I'm headed toward a goal, and that progress is being made is just the best thing.

Conversely, when I see no progress, I tend to feel pretty shaky. If I don't know what's going on, if I can't see the end of the tunnel, if I don't know the plan, well... things can get ugly real fast. Like a claustrophobic person in a submarine, my heart beats faster, my pulse rises, and you already know I have enough problems with breathing.

Last year I had a situation that I had no control over at all. I became so desperate, I began to pray. (how ironic that there are still times I use prayer as a last resort and not a first defense even now as a ministry leader) I prayed, and prayed, and I prayed. I watched, waited, and tried to make some sort of list. nothing. God was seemingly standing perfectly still. I begged, pleaded, and prayed some more. silence.

I once heard that during a test is when a teacher is the quietest.  It's not time for a history professor to be lecturing, for example, during finals. Instead, they walk around quietly, observing, allowing the students a chance to show what they've learned

This silent time was clearly a test. I prayed, prayed, prayed some more. Then, something magnificent happened. No, not the answer to my prayer... but something better! I began getting used to this hour by hour communication with my Savior! I started loving our time together, getting to know Him better, re-learning to lean on Him instead of lists.

The situation eventually came to a head, not in the way I hoped, and certainly not the way I would have planned out, but eventually I felt like God had answered my prayers. The worst of it was over.

Just recently, I had a conversation with someone who was behind the scenes during this ordeal. This person gave me a little glimpse into the backstory of what was happening while I was praying and waiting. I what I discovered was amazing! That season of what I thought was God's silence was not silence at all. Unbeknown to me, there were BIG things happening out of my eyeline. God was artfully checking things of His list, moving the slide puzzle around, lining things up just right so the maximum good could come from this horrible situation. As I was rediscovering that plans are ALWAYS better when preceded by prayers, God was right where He was supposed to be, doing things so much better than I would have even remembered to put on a list.

God didn't have to show me that peek behind the curtain, but when He did, tears sprang to my eyes. I got all choked up with emotion...mostly because it was so humbling & awesome to hear confirmation that God was carrying us... footsteps in the sand style. I cried also because hearing those things reminded me that this is how I want all stories of struggle in my life to end. I want every account of my life to go: she prayed, He planned, she obeyed, His will was done. repeat.

Oh, that I would be like Daniel, and hear of tragedy coming my way, and go straight to my knees. This can only happen from practicing... the scriptures say that Daniel prayed 'according to His custom' when he caught wind of the decree that would send him to the Lion's den for praying to God. In order to be able to have prayer be my 'go to' reaction during the BIG times, I need to be well practiced on a daily basis. I keep a prayer journal partly so I can look back on times like the one I've just told you of when I lose my way, sort of like keeping old tests to study from... they're much more valuable and inspiring than the scraps of papers I've made all my little lists on. I can use them to remember how much better God's plans are than mine... time after time after time.

finished writing about prayer vs planning...check! (in the spirit of full disclosure, I still intend to be a lists girl. I just want to be a prays-first-makes-lists-later girl haha)