Responsibility.

I've probably said this a majillion times here on the blog, but I do truly believe that a person's best features are often their worst features.  I think it's fair to say that I am a fairly responsible person. That's not always bad... you can pretty much assume that I will follow through on whatever I tell you I will do, I have never once not paid a bill, I will stay up 'til a hundred o'clock to make a deadline. It's a great quality.

On the other hand, I am also r.e.s.p.o.n.s.i.b.l.e. (if you're reading this out loud, say that word with your most exasperated tone, while rolling your eyes, and exhaling deeply) from the definition of the word that means 'thinks she is responsible for EVERYTHING.'  It's not a pretty picture.

If I were to have a party at my house, I'd be really excited to have you all over.  If you told me you couldn't come because you had a big meeting that day, I'd feel responsible for not scheduling it with you in mind.  If I didn't invite your next door neighbor, and I heard that she was super sad for not being invited, I'd feel responsible for fixing that. If somebody said they couldn't make it at the last minute because they didn't have a sitter, I'd feel responsible for helping you find someone.

After you arrived, I would feel responsible for making sure everyone was having a great time. I'd walk around, trying to help the lonely find someone to chat with. I'd wander here and there until I discovered you'd all gotten what you needed, and that you were all comfortable, and then I'd relax until it was time to make sure everyone left on time and got home safely.

I'd love to think that this is a sign of me being a good person. But the painful truth is that this is a pride thing.  Sadly, I fear more than anything else that people won't like me. They won't think I am good or kind or special, and then I will die. or, worse yet- What if I cause someone to stumble by not taking my responsibility seriously enough?  I want more than anything else to leave that part of me in the past. I want to move forward and think more of God than I do of myself. I want to remember that I can 'just do my best and let God do the rest.'

It's not that I shouldn't take my part seriously - I absolutely should!- but it's important that I realize that IT'S NOT ALL MY PART or I will dissolve in a bundle of nerves and pressure.

Sometimes I have to say right out loud to stop the anxiety:  I am not God. I am responsible only to do what God has told me to do. I am not in charge of other people's emotions, reactions, or choices. My job is not to please people, but to please God.

I'm re-learning this lesson again today.  Many of you are signed up for the Backpacking Through Joshua study that starts on Jan 1. Today as I am going to bed, there are actually 42 people registered. Most of me is THRILLED!  This is a pure answer to prayer, and a great honor and a huge


re.spons.si.bil.i.ty.


Oh dear. there it is again. That WORD! *smacks forehead*

I do not want to fear letting so many people down, people who are showing up expecting to see God. I do not want to let my longing to make people love me to control this study. Moreover, I do not want to get so freaked out about all these people and the responsibility attached that I get in the way of God.

I am praying now that God would help me to remember that it was my responsibility to write this study, but it's the Holy Spirit's job to teach it.


Will you please join me in prayer too, my friends?

If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.

Romans 12:8

Tipping the Scales

There are so many blessings in my life right now, I can barely count them.

And to be honest, there are a lot of bummers, too- also too numerous to count.

but for some reason, I feel so content and joyful. 

If you were to hand me some sort of scale in which I could pile all my blessings on one side, and all my burdens on the other, I'm truly not sure which way the scales would tip at first:

I had an amazing Christmas- spent it with family and friends - BLESSING!

My Grandmother died- we weren't as close as I'd like (family issues) but she was always a sweet and loving lady and I missed saying goodbye to her by mere hours- BURDEN!

But the airlines refunded my plane tickets! BLESSING!

My church family worked together for lots of great Christmas services- BLESSING!

My car's transmission died! BURDEN!

It's on a pretty good week since the kids and I are on vacation! BLESSING!

It's going to cost a LOT OF MONEY! BURDEN!

But we have a nice warm house and lots of food in the pantry! BLESSING!

My kids are sick! BURDEN!

I have a new Silhouette machine! BLESSING!

My dog got Chocolate poisoning! BURDEN!

But she lived! BLESSING!

My dishwasher is dying! BURDEN!

...............

I could go on and on, but the point is moo (you know, like a cow's opinion) moot. Truth is that none of the burdens would even make the scale budge after we put in Jesus Loves Me right on the Blessings Side. A little perspective is sometimes just what one needs to be able to say they're blessed in the midst of a storm...

May your scales tip radically on the Blessings Side as you seek God this week...

The Lord opens the eyes of the blind.

The Lord lifts up those who are weighed down.

The Lord loves the godly.

Psalm 146:8

oh, and come on over and sign up for our Backpacking Through Joshua Online Study this week- navigate the top buttons to find the sign up form. 

Sneak Peek

Still thinking about joining the study?

Here's a sneak peek: BACKPACKING THROUGH JOSHUA

Post Number FIVE HUNDRED

I have had the hardest time deciding how to celebrate my 500th post. In fact, I've been so obsessed with making sure that I come up with the perfect idea that I have gotten frozen like a deer in headlights. I haven't been able to write ANYTHING because I still haven't come up with the ULTIMATE IDEA. Today I gave myself a very stern talking to and warned myself if I keep waiting for the perfect thing, my blog will just fizzle at a very anticlimactic 499 posts. boo hiss.

So, I'm just going to post. No bells, no whistles. No pomp, no circumstances. Just a second to let you all know how much I have appreciated all of you over the last 500 posts. I have loved your input, the relationships that have been formed, the words of advice, admonishment, and inspiration. I thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to work through life here on this blog. I appreciate the amazing opportunity to be allowed to share what it is that God is showing me as I seek to find Jesus in everyday life. You’ve really been a great encouragement to me to get brave and try new things.

So…with that in mind, I’d like to make an announcement… (drum roll, please)

I’m now compiling an interest list for the 2011 HisGirl Online Bible Study… Backpacking Through Joshua.

It will similar to the Safari through Daniel Study, only broken up a little differently. There are 24 chapters in the book of Joshua, and I can’t even dream about doing 24 weeks in a row. Instead, we’ll do four 6 week quarters. Starting January 1, we’ll do 6 weeks, covering chapters 1-6 and then we will take a break, when you can opt at that point to continue on, or decide to bail and head for home.

I am working on making it a much quicker study this time. Besides the reading (a chapter a week) you’ll have just 4 sections to complete- each designed to last no more than 5-10 minutes as we set up CAMP (Commentary, Asking God, More to read, Putting it out there). You’ll be able to participate on Facebook, on your own blog, or here on mine. I will again make this available at no charge in exchange for your willingness to be gracious as this will only be my second attempt at writing a Bible study curriculum for grownups. In a couple of weeks I’ll have more info, but first I’d like to see if anyone wants to come hike with me. Interested? Please leave a comment below.

Well, there you have it… a 500 word post to celebrate 500 entries in this little online spot on the web. Thank you again for the honor of your company. Here’s to the next 500!

And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.

Hebrews 10:25