Wednesday, March 09, 2011


my grandfather is dying.

not in the sense that we are all in the process of dying... someday.

he's in the process of dying right this minute.

i just went to go visit him-

it was heartbreaking.

watching the only father figure i ever knew like this.

he has stubbornly refused to submit to God his whole 90 year life.

and now?

he's pale and yellowed and thin and old and instead of resting-

he's wrestling.

'i hate that guy' he mutters as he tosses in his bed.

'i don't like him' he shouts to nobody in particular.

'who is it?' he asks- 'he's a son of a b****'

mom and i tell him that he can tell that evil guy to go away.

'GO AWAY' he shouts and shakes his fist.

mom tells him he can go to Jesus instead.

he smiles a little and then says nothing for a minute.

my mom and i pray for his soul.

i pray for my mom.

we are resting in the fact that God wants not one of his people to perish.

we realize that this time of wrestling is likely more than we know.

as he literally wraps his hand around his own throat it's easy to imagine

that he's spiritually trying to war against his own flesh.

i don't know for sure.

but i know God loves my grandpa more than i do.

and i know God is giving him every last chance to surrender.

i hope he will.

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
Ephesians 6:12-13



Vindiciti said...

Praying for you and your family, but praying with you for your grandfather more. Love you, friend.

Kellie said...

Oh sweet friend...I'm praying.

God's Guitar Girl said...

Tears on my cheek and in my heart for you, girl. Death and dying, while a part of our lives, is so hard to watch. It's so raw, in your face, and there is no way to whitewash things with niceties and pleasantries at this point. Stay strong and keep leaning. God is present and at work. Love you. <3

Shanda said...

Praying Christian music in the room really helped to bring my mom peace before she died. The battle is waging. I am praying sweet friend.

Becky said...

Praying he does surrender. My great uncle did at 92!

(((Hugs))) and lots of prayers, Amber.

Halfmoon Girl said...

Will join in praying for your grandfather and for peace for all of you. I am sorry that you are going through this.

Diana said...

Oh my dear friend... praying for your grandpa... (((hugs)))

Melissa @ Breath of Life said...

It's so hard to watch someone you love wrestle against Jesus. Praying for you all, friend.

Alana said...

We know who has the victory, praying for you and your grandpa! Love you.